Be the best you can be.

What if we never reach the expectations we put on ourselves?

Many dancers start from a young age, I was 4 years old. Dancers start to spend more and more time in the studio striving to be the best.

What expectations come with this?

• To have amazing technique?

• To be on stage in the West End?

• To win competitions?

• To acquire social recognition and prestige in the dance world?

Where do these ideals come from? Who implemented the mentality that achieving these things accounted for winning, success and being the best? Are these really the ultimate goal?

The competitive nature of dancing attracts those who enjoy the challenge, those who thrive on the discipline and developing their bodies, working towards a potential reward for their hard work and commitment. This can be a rewarding process for the few but for the many it is often damanging.

Whose are these expectations?

Our dance teachers? Students are seen as an opportunity to lift the status of the dance teacher or the dance school. Every successful dancer has a teacher who taught them the very foundation that led them to success. In turn dancers flock to the schools they know have the ability to turn them into stars. The most well-known dance schools are a status symbol in the dance world.

Expectations from family? For poorer families dance can be seen as a way to elevate socioeconomic status and increase income.

Children may be living out the dreams of their parents.

None of these reasons for wanting success are bad; to want better for yourself and your family is an admirable quality to have, but if it comes at the cost of your own sense of self then this signals the need to question expectations.

For most of my dance life I had so many expectations of the dancer I wanted to be that I completely forgot to find out who I really was. What was it that I wanted? I was concerned with what other dancers were doing and what I needed to do to emulate the same success they had rather than my own ideas. The constant comparison to others is a huge theme throughout the industry. Is this the culture of dance? Can we not appreciate each others differences and see them as strengths? Where is the desire to nourish an individual?

When I reflect back to my time learning a range of dance styles I realise in some institutes that dance is taught in a regimented way and I can understand this is necessary at times but not everyone thrives in discipline. As our dancing starts to evolve we begin to explore our own creative mind and figure out our bodies. This is where some individuals really flourish.

If your ability or goals do not align with what the industry perceives as “talent” or “success” you are unemployable. Wouldn’t cultivating a passion for the movement, the music, the flow, the feeling and allowing young dancers to become excited about exploring their body be a more nurturing environment rather than having to work really hard because you need to win or achieve x and y? These achievements are great goals to have but what about the journey as a whole? What about enjoying each part of the process and finding out who you are in the world of dance?

For dancers who struggle with their identity rejection is the worst thing that can happen.

I was that woman.

I was insecure.

I was afraid of my individuality.

What I really needed at the time was a mentor who could understand what I was going through mentally and emotionally; someone who could help me navigate the harsh world of competitive dance and give me the guidance to cultivate self compassion, understanding and confidence. Dealing with negativity can be really hard in an environment which thrives on judgement and criticism.

Expectations unmet can damage self esteem. I wish I could tell all dancers that not reaching the top is ok, it does not reflect intrinsic value.

Setting healthy realistic goals in line with your values is the way to devlop a fulfilling career. Not what the industry dictates, your family or any other external factor. The pursuit of other peoples goals will never give you the happiness and fulfilment you are looking for.

I had no connection to my inner self, I had acquired a perspective which wasn’t my own and I was scared to be myself because I had no guidance. There is a lack of perspective in dance communities. People go through the motions as they have always done and no one questions whether the environment it creates really nurtures young dancers. This mentality has to change and needs to evolve. Inclusivity is a big movement in modern society and it’s time it made its way over into the dance industry.

To live life in fear of who you are and what you have to offer the world means you are depriving the world of your unique perspective.
Having gone through the motions of the dance industry I am fueled with passion to help other dancers develop themselves, and find their unique expression. If any of this resonates with you let’s have a chat. You can book a free consultation.

Laura x