What Being On Silent Retreat Taught Me About Quarantine
I’ve been on a few silent retreats. when I tell people that they usually look at me with something between awe and horror and say,
“I couldn’t stay quiet for so long, how did you do it?”
The million dollar question, to which the answer I believe, could potentially help many of you out there now in lock down or dealing with social distancing due to COVID-19.
It’s important to point out first that being on lockdown at home with any number of available distractions is hardly comparable to the rigours of a silent retreat especially a vipassana retreat where there are also 9 hours of structured meditation daily, but there are a few parallels; namely that we are disengaged from society in a way some of us have never experienced and we find we are no longer in the familiar framework, estranged from loved ones and having to adhere to state imposed rules upon our usual personal freedoms. Of course there is a huge difference, people choose to go on silent retreat whereas current circumstances are not of anyone’s choosing. This sets up a very different dynamic. Nonetheless I learned much in silent retreat I feel can be applied to all of us who are ‘sheltering in place.’
Surrender: The best advice I ever received upon entering a 10 day silent retreat was ‘surrender to the structure.’ This was poignant because we cause ourselves so much distress by resisting the present moment. Whilst circumstances might be difficult and there may be grief involved, we can work to let go of that extra layer of psychological tension which attempts to resist what is happening even though it has no control over it.
Presence: Most people on retreat were terrified of going into silence, I was too at the beginning, but as I got into it I found that I enjoyed the intimacy of being totally alone with myself. When was the last time you were really present with yourself? I know being at home often includes kids, chores and responsibilities but usually you’d add work on top of that, seeing your friends, relatives and going out to bars or shopping. Even if you are still busy life has slowed down and this could be an opportunity you’ll never have again. You are here one time in this body/mind, get to know yourself and treat this moment as if you are with the most important being in your life (you are) and you want to get to know this being without so many distractions, to be fully available.
Authenticity: Even when people go to a silent retreat by their own volition they still encounter so much resistance it’s blinding. You are now forced into disengaging from usual social activities and there will likely be some resistance. In meditation we are often asked to’ witness our reactions’, to watch how the conditioned mind moves when it is triggered and ultimately to become conscious of our subconscious behaviours. In doing so we may begin to move from a more authentic place, an awake and alert aliveness as oppose the old recorded patterns that are often not serving us very well. Perhaps this unusual moment could serve as a catalyst for real personal growth.
Solitude: There is a difference between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness represents a deficient self state, whereas solitude is a condition of wholeness. It requires a psychological shift and if we can start to perceive loneliness as solitude then what was miserable and painful becomes refreshing, soothing and meaningful.
Embrace: When we are taken out of our familiar behavioural patterns the mind wakes up, the nervous system moves to alertness. This is why travel is so invigorating and why they often say ‘change is as good as a rest,’ On silent retreat you are taken out of the familiar environment which in and of itself can serve as catalyst for awakening to presence. Right now, in case you needed reminding, we are all out of the familiar environment and in this it is possible to experience the magic of the world again. We might feel that joy is an inappropriate response right now but it is our aliveness coming through, is it okay to allow it?
Parasympathetic: This is a time of great panic and fear. Much of what we learn through meditation is to move into a state of relaxation so that we have the capacity to feel ourselves. We use many practices to engage the parasympathetic response such as breathing, yogic exercises, visualisation, sound, mantra and any number of healing tools. There are so many free tools online available so get Googling, because right now is the perfect time to discover how wonderful your nervous system is designed to make you feel.
My partner T Jonathon Proctor offers online sessions for those interested in self study. You can find more about him and what he does at Being Real
I offer online and in person (Humboldt County CA) yoga sessions please contact for more info.
